Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Do Men Read Blogs Authored by Women?

So, since this is my first REAL blog entry, let’s make it about . . . none other than blogging!

First things first . . . I am not an English major or anything close.  I hope that my posts will at least “flow” but please forgive any grammar or punctuation errors or if I misuse a word.  Thank you in advance . . . there will be many errors.

Just some quick background and what is to follow:

My name is Chris and I am going through a separation and pending divorce.  I am truly heartbroken over it but I know that God is with me in the midst of the storm and I take great comfort in knowing that He is not only with me but that He is using my circumstance to grow me and I am fully certain that good things will come out of this.

Since my separation started, I have plugged into God #1.  But I have also plugged in to some good Christian support groups one of them being Genesis, a divorce recovery group that meets at Perimeter Church in John’s Creek, GA.  I have also been addicted to social media like Facebook and Twitter.  Over the course of the last four months I have been introduced to many wonderful Twitter’ers and through that I have been introduced to many good blogs.

So, I figured I would share with my friends from Genesis some of the blogs that I have come across so I sent out a group email:

Hi Genesis...ers,

Along with studying God's Word now more than I've ever done in the past, I have also stumbled across a lot of excellent Christian Blogs.
Surprisingly, I have been introduced to all of these blogs through Twitter.  I follow one person that might mention another person and I start to follow that person and that person has a blog and so on and so on.

Most of the blogs I have been reading are authored by women.  Big surprise here, women seem to be able to communicate their feelings and experiences better than men, go figure.

I will recommend a couple of the ones that I have started following or should I say that I am trying to catch up with as most of these blogs started with some kind of life changing event and the blog archives tell the whole story. (That's a long sentence; I'm sure John C wants to add a few commas somewhere.)  So my recommendation would be to click around and find where the story begins.

I find it inspirational to read about someone that has experienced a real and often traumatic life changing event and how they stand strong in God's promises. It certainly helps me to relate and to take inventory of the things in my life and to start to put things in perspective.

I challenge you to search around and find a few blogs that you can plug into, take a few minutes each day and experience how God is using other people's circumstances to bring Him glory.

http://deeperstory.com/  This is a collection of multiple blogs with links to separate pages.

http://www.gritandglory.com/my-story/ This is a blog of a divorced woman that is living out her Plan B. You will see that her story is much like all of ours. She even mentions the emotional roller coaster that we refer to as "The Slippery Slope".

http://angiesmithonline.com/ This is a super emotional blog of a young mother and her family dealing with a tragic loss. She has also authored a book about the experience.

So I'll let Amazon.com give the description:

In 2008, Angie Smith and her husband Todd (lead singer of the group Selah) learned through ultrasound that their fourth daughter had conditions making her “incompatible with life.” Advised to terminate the pregnancy, the Smiths chose instead to carry this child and allow room for a miracle. That miracle came the day they met Audrey Caroline and got the chance to love her for the precious two-and-a-half hours she lived on earth.
Upon receiving the original diagnosis, Angie started a blog (Bring the Rain) to keep family and friends informed of their journey. Soon, the site exploded in popularity, connecting with thousands who were either experiencing their own heartbreaking situations or simply curious about how God could carry someone through something so tragic. I Will Carry You tells the powerful story of a parent losing her child, interwoven with the biblical story of Lazarus to help those who mourn to still have hope—to find grace and peace in the sacred dance of grief and joy.

Thanks for reading . . . hope it helps.
Chris B

In response, I received this email from Michelle:

I wanted to start a blog 2 years ago when I started writing a book.  Never finished either.  How do people find the time?  How can we gain balance?

On writing a book and or a blog:
How does a women attract guy readers?
Since guys do not express themselves like women, why would a guy read a blog or a book?  Only when they are going through a trial of some sort?  Would guys read this stuff since it's not cool or part of their chemisty to chat in a group?


And in turn, I responded as follows:

Hi Michelle,

I understand the whole where do you find time thing.  True, I would not have started reading these blogs unless I was going through the trials that I am going through . . . but, I have also dedicated more time to healing and fixing myself so that I can be whole for my next relationship.

I do find the blogs that I read interesting and engaging, and it's true, I seem to enjoy the blogs authored by women much more.  The content is more open and honest, call me girly.  There are a few blogs authored by men that I do read as well but for the most part the content is more surface material and nothing really deep.

All this being said; I am a man that obviously missed the clues of what my wife needed in order to keep our marriage strong and intact.  You are not familiar with my story but my wife left me, according to her because she was unhappy, strangely enough there was another man in the picture when she told me she was unhappy, but "he had nothing to do with it" . . . Ah, I digress . . . 

Back to the main point: My wife told me for the nine years that we were married that we were the perfect couple and that she was happy and from my point of view that was exactly the case.  Turns out, I was missing all of the silent clues.  My wife didn't communicate her true feelings toward me and she held things in with no release whatsoever.  So, for me, I find it refreshing and I guess you could say educational to read a woman's blog.  

To be able to read the heartfelt words of someone, either male or female, is an incredible thing.  I often, and don't repeat this as I am already in danger of losing my "man card", but I often am brought to tears by the things that I read.  And, yes, I cry for sappy movies too.  Don't let me watch The Notebook!!

So . . . I say go for it, write your blog, update it as much as you can and circulate it via Facebook or Twitter or some other outlet.  Guys will read it too . . . they just won’t tell anyone.

And on the subject of blogging, I too just started a blog, literally, like last week created a page.  I haven't even made a real first entry yet, I posted John 15 as my first entry.  So, with your permission, I would like to use your email and my response as my first entry.  I will only use your first name of course.  Let me know.

P.S. I am still praying for reconciliation in my marriage.  I will give you more details of my story at a later date.  And I would be honored to hear, or read, your story.

And Chuck chimes in (Chuck BTW is a Christian Counselor):

I follow several blogs written by women.  I was introduced to them by my son (and his wife)...And yes, guys DO read this stuff - because it actually is cool AND a part of our chemistry to chat in a group.  The dirty little secret about manhood is that we need intimacy (in-to-me-see) just as badly as women do.  Perhaps even more, since there is still a large part of our culture that tries to convince us that we can live without it.  I think just about every one of my male clients would agree...

Here are a couple of my favorite blogs:
authored by women (and a couple of these talk about balance and finding time):

authored by men:
http://whatever.scalzi.com  (this guy is a well-published author, and he talks a lot about the art, science, and business of writing)

And my all-time favorite (authored by my daughter-in-law, but seldom updated):

So . . . the short answer to the question is, YES, men certainly read blogs authored by women, AND, we really enjoy them.
We're not all Wild at Heart.  
Darn, there goes my MAN CARD! 

I need to go build something or fart in a room full of men so I can feel more MANLY :-)

Alright . . . Got that first one out of the way.

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